The Church of Tell It Like It Is

Posts tagged ‘80’s Rock’

Purple Pixy Stix & Prince

The world lost its favorite purple icon a few weeks ago. The legendary iconic singer Prince was found unresponsive and died in an elevator at his Paisley Park home. Some say it was hardcore drugs that did the purple one in.  Others say it was the greedy medical profession that killed him. Some allege that he loved doughnuts  while others believe he worshipped other foods. There are those who believe he didn’t eat enough. Whatever the case, Prince did not go unnoticed. Especially after his passing. Many folks have memories of knowing him – even if it was for a few moments. Minerva S., a former movie-extra turned taco truck driver, remembers being in a crowd scene during the filming of the hit movie Purple Rain back in the eighties, where she brushed past Prince for thirty four seconds before they yelled “Cut!” as bodyguards whisked Prince back to his on-set trailer. “He was the nicest guy you ever met in your life”, recalls Minerva, “He didn’t spit in my face, he didn’t step on my foot. I mean, this is a celebrity and he was not rude at all. Amazing!” When asked if there was anything specific she remembers about Prince besides the obvious things, Minerva twists her mouth to the side and nods her head up and down, “Yeah. He was sucking on those purple Pixy Stix.” There are plans for a big memorial service to be taking place in the future. RIP Purple One. And so it is. Amen.

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“I’m Messed Up, You’re Messed Up – Let’s Breed!”

God help us all. Used to think only low-class, dirt-bag types were the ones to participate in unprotected sex yielding unnecessary procreation. Then I read the latest article about Charlie Sheen wanting to have his $55,000 a month child support payments ceased.  Now, I’ve been called “crazy” a zillion times (thank you!) but please, God in Heaven, express to me why anyone with even a half a brain cell would give someone like Charlie Sheen that kind of money to begin with….because I just don’t get it. There’s a few other things I don’t get either (but remember….I’m “crazy” by some people’s standards….again, Thanks!). Why would anybody procreate? I mean, have they lived in this world? Now, I don’t want to come off as judgmental or anything. I mean, it’s not like ANYBODY has EVER judged me for NOT WANTING TO PUT MORE PEOPLE ON AN ALREADY OVERPOPULATED PLANET WHERE WE CAN’T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY HERE POST-WOMB. NAH. It’s not like ANYBODY has ever said to me, “oh what do YOU know about ANYTHING….YOU”VE never had KIDS”, or, “well the reason she looks good is because SHE NEVER HAD KIDS !!!!!!” (as they spit in my face and the rage wrinkles up their already sleep-deprived visage) or they FIRE  me from job(s) (plural) as the photos of their ALCOHOL-FETAL OFFSPRING sit calmly on their desks while I leave the office followed by security as I quickly make my way to the airport in hopes of catching the plane that will allow me to witness the last breaths of my dying parent. Don’t get me started on what the government has taken out in taxes in my CHILDLESS earnings. I mean, FAR BE IT FROM ME to JUDGE ANYONE who CHOOSES to BREED. (Whoopsie…..that “crazy”-ness is coming out yet again!) Here’s another QUESTION I’d like to ponder God in Heaven.….Who…..in their functioning right mind….would pay money or go to see a has-been like DON DOKKEN at some blue-collar hole-in-the-wall and then write a review on it like anybody who is not stuck in 1988 really cares?  ANSWER (From God in Heaven): “A Messsed Up BREEDER who has a lame life and who never left low class New Jersey and it’s a Big Deal for that person to try to impress people who do nothing better than drink alcohol and breed”. (Me again) OH! Duh! I forgot all about that. It’s been so long since I’ve been back there. By the way…..THANK YOU GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!  PRAISE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN! AMEN! PRAISE GOD !!!!!  Peace and Blessings.

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