Jesus. I mean really. JESUS. Female bodies are ALWAYS the topic of controversy dictated by the perceptions of what MALES (and some females’) THINK a female is supposed to be, while males (I know, not ALL but so many) just let it all hang out – sometimes LITERALLY. (What’s that you say? You’re TIRED of hearing about the injustices? The “whining”?) Well GUESS WHAT? I’m EXHAUSTED from the imbalance too. Take this Octomom/Natalie Suleman chick. She’s DONE with the STRIPPING (ooooh. “BAD”, “BAD”, “BAD” thing that STRIPPING). But when she wants to (or any woman for that matter wants to) risk their life going through pregnancy and childbirth you know SUFFER!!!!! (women MUST SUFFER – that’s what you are put here to do women – SUFFER! it’s all “GOOD”!!!!! (awwwww how “beautiful” having your body stretched out to Kingdom Come while the male just kicks back and hits the STRIP CLUB (“BAD”), the porn, sticks his HPV infected dick into any hole that he wants it to go into (Hi Bill Clinton- Hope Hilary’s Pneumonia is getting better). AND THESE STUPID CRO-MAGNON MEN WHO THINK ALL WOMEN ARE JUST DYING TO HAVE THAT WAD OF SEMEN PARKED INTO THEIR UTERUS AND THAT’S ALL EVERY WOMAN ON PLANET EARTH LIVES FOR (Having BABIES!!!!!) – to those men – please go directly to hell. Thank you. Then there’s this MATERNITY LEAVE controversy which to me isn’t a controversy – come up with a way for MEN to get pregnant and we will NEVER HAVE to WORRY ABOUT WARS OR TERRORISM EVER AGAIN, as certain males are always the FIRST ones to WHINE about “injustice” and “being taken advantage of” as CHILDLESS women (GASP! GASP! GOD FORBID!!!!!!!!!) are oftentimes perceived by those on both sides of the fence as carefree and my “favorite”…. SELFISH while many of these self-serving breeders USE their offspring as BUFFER/COVER-UPS to alleviate the guilt of their OWN irresponsible past behaviors they embarked upon on a regular basis LIKE DRIVING DRUNK, CRASHING CARS INTO TREES, DEALING DRUGS, WORKING FOR THE WORLD PEDOPHILE ORGANIZATION (aka the ROMAN catholi-ICK church), GOSSIPING etc. etc. etc………but GOD FORBID somebody’s a STRIPPER!!!! OH NO!!!!! (AS IF the strippers put AK-47’s to mens’ heads and FORCED them to go to the strip clubs). Gimme a break. UGLY. UGLY. UGLY. Ugly Americans.***PS to all the SINGLE fathers out there who sacrifice EVERYTHING for your kids -although I never met one of you in my entire life – this doesn’t apply to you. God Bless America. And so it is. Amen.
Not Funny today. ALL these people on TV, in the media, in the news, on the internet coming forward speaking about their experience with yesterday’s SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL, VIOLENT self-named “Powder Keg” from Virginia. Where was everybody when this nut was buying a gun? Where were all these PRO-LIFERS when this nut was unraveling and purchasing firearms? See there’s more to it then dumping sperm into a cavity and going on with YOUR life. There’s MUCH MORE to it. People POST WOMB are in trouble. God Bless America. And so it is. Amen.
….has been elected into US Con Gress. Yes America, this is history! Taquisha Meow,is the FIRST EVER Black Female with Four Legs to gain votes and grab this prestigious and powerful seat. Ms. Meow, a Rebuplicat, credits her parents, two Zambian Panthers who fled their native Zambia for fear of becoming extinct, and immigrating to the US with only TWO CENTS in their paws, for her chance at this great American Dream. She then graduated from the Des Moines School of Beauty where she obtained her Beauty and Grooming License, and even entertained a career in the Cat Calendar industry “You think politics is rough? Try modeling! Those cats will scratch your eyes out for a chance to be on the cover!“, she has been quoted as saying. It was a chance meeting at the cat shelter where she crossed paths with the person she also credits for her success- her human – a Hare Krishna volunteer. Soon thereafter, Taquisha found herself a member of her human’s vegetarian movement, where she trained in global relations and peace negotiations with members of various faiths. Now, as a newly elected top tier government official, Taquisha is confident that she will make a difference. “I am female – hear me roar!” she says, as she licks her paw before curling up into a contorted body move that she regularly teaches as a Yoga instructor at the Hare Krishna center every week. When asked if she’s worried about the issues she’ll be forced to deal with in her new role, she yawns and stretches confidently while responding assuredly, “PuhlEEEEze. I have a leg up on all my opponents. In fact, I have two more legs than they do.” God Bless America. And so it is. Amen.
Hi! My name is Martyra Breed and I wanted to let everyone know that I followed Princeton graduate Susan Patton’s advice LONG ago and I’m SO glad that I did. Because I spent 75% of my college days looking for that perfect, sperm-dumping, college yuppie, my life has just FLOURISHED. For starters, after getting pregnant at 19, I wasn’t even able to finish college ! That’s right! I had to drop out to take care of that Ivy League offspring that Mr. Yuppie only met twice in his entire life! After all, Mr. Yuppie’s education and social mobility is FAR more important than a MERE breeder’s like myself! That’s what we females are here for – to BREED YUPPIE IVY LEAGUE OFFSPRING!!!!!! Anyway, after having to drop out of college to take care of my Ivy League Offspring, I got a part time job at the B Dalton college bookstore to support myself and my child (Mr. Yuppie just bailed and went off to graduate school with some chick from the LaCrosse team, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Oh well! Stuff Happens! ) But I’m SO glad I BRED when I did, because you know, us females, we have to be young in order to breed. So anyway, I met this professor while working at the book store, and within two years, I was knocked up again with twins. Yup! He was SO happy! And me too! I mean the C-section only gave me a four inch deep gap with permanent scaring for life, and I haven’t slept for more than 2 hours per night since, but if it wasn’t for Susan Patton’s advice, I don’t think I could have ever been THAT HAPPY!!! So when the professor dumped me for one of his students 8 years later, and I still hadn’t finished college and was on welfare trying to support my three kids, I had Susan Patton to think of. Now all three of my kids are in prison, my third husband left me for a college freshman (he’s 52) and I’m still trying to get my Associate’s degree at Mercer County Community College at night while I work at Dunkin’ Donuts in the day. I still think of that stellar advice that Susan Patton gives, and how thankful I am that I spent 75% of my college years focusing on becoming some man’s sperm dumping receptacle while he went on to monetary success and younger, softer pussy once mine was all torn up and stretched out, while I sacrificed my career, education and body like the good, stepping-stone, leaning-post that all great martyrs should. Thank you Susan Patton for keeping this commendable form of martyrdom alive and well. And so it is. Amen.