Jesus. I mean really. JESUS. Female bodies are ALWAYS the topic of controversy dictated by the perceptions of what MALES (and some females’) THINK a female is supposed to be, while males (I know, not ALL but so many) just let it all hang out – sometimes LITERALLY. (What’s that you say? You’re TIRED of hearing about the injustices? The “whining”?) Well GUESS WHAT? I’m EXHAUSTED from the imbalance too. Take this Octomom/Natalie Suleman chick. She’s DONE with the STRIPPING (ooooh. “BAD”, “BAD”, “BAD” thing that STRIPPING). But when she wants to (or any woman for that matter wants to) risk their life going through pregnancy and childbirth you know SUFFER!!!!! (women MUST SUFFER – that’s what you are put here to do women – SUFFER! it’s all “GOOD”!!!!! (awwwww how “beautiful” having your body stretched out to Kingdom Come while the male just kicks back and hits the STRIP CLUB (“BAD”), the porn, sticks his HPV infected dick into any hole that he wants it to go into (Hi Bill Clinton- Hope Hilary’s Pneumonia is getting better). AND THESE STUPID CRO-MAGNON MEN WHO THINK ALL WOMEN ARE JUST DYING TO HAVE THAT WAD OF SEMEN PARKED INTO THEIR UTERUS AND THAT’S ALL EVERY WOMAN ON PLANET EARTH LIVES FOR (Having BABIES!!!!!) – to those men – please go directly to hell. Thank you. Then there’s this MATERNITY LEAVE controversy which to me isn’t a controversy – come up with a way for MEN to get pregnant and we will NEVER HAVE to WORRY ABOUT WARS OR TERRORISM EVER AGAIN, as certain males are always the FIRST ones to WHINE about “injustice” and “being taken advantage of” as CHILDLESS women (GASP! GASP! GOD FORBID!!!!!!!!!) are oftentimes perceived by those on both sides of the fence as carefree and my “favorite”…. SELFISH while many of these self-serving breeders USE their offspring as BUFFER/COVER-UPS to alleviate the guilt of their OWN irresponsible past behaviors they embarked upon on a regular basis LIKE DRIVING DRUNK, CRASHING CARS INTO TREES, DEALING DRUGS, WORKING FOR THE WORLD PEDOPHILE ORGANIZATION (aka the ROMAN catholi-ICK church), GOSSIPING etc. etc. etc………but GOD FORBID somebody’s a STRIPPER!!!! OH NO!!!!! (AS IF the strippers put AK-47’s to mens’ heads and FORCED them to go to the strip clubs). Gimme a break. UGLY. UGLY. UGLY. Ugly Americans.***PS to all the SINGLE fathers out there who sacrifice EVERYTHING for your kids -although I never met one of you in my entire life – this doesn’t apply to you. God Bless America. And so it is. Amen.
Posts tagged ‘Childbirth’
I “love” when people, with upmost sincerity, look at me with a perplexed look on their faces and say, “So Why Don’t You Have Kids?” This particularly irks me when this, in my opinion, BEYOND ridiculous question, comes from the mouth of a clueless white male who never goes through childbirth or pregnancy a day in his life and who has had a stay-at-home “Betty Crocker” type mother – the kind who has never worked outside of the home. (I won’t NAME anybody out on this today especially if they are NOT a celebrity) (even though they THINK they are). So Carly Fiorina doesn’t think everybody in America should get maternity leave. Did you hear that all you parents out there? PRO LIFE advocates (WHATEVER the fuck that means…seriously…I’m cracking up laughing right now) REALLY have this section in their brain that thinks money grows on trees. Their argument? Let the COMPANIES decide. Well, having been FIRED by MORE THAN ONE COMPANY (PLURAL. PLURAL. PLURAL) because I had to attend funeral services or near-death-experience-of-family members (while WHITE MEN discuss PLAYBOY MANSION outings and show pictures of tits on their phones in the CORPORATE environment – 30, 40, 50 year old men not teenagers) I’m really not TRUSTING companies to look out for ANYBODY’s DAMN INTEREST ESPECIALLY the one who is going through childbirth and pregnancy while her counterpart is discussing Playboy Mansion outings and whacking off to tits on his phone. Not to mention the absolute and blatant discrimination of workers in this country who CHOOSE NOT to breed. I mean, it’s ridiculous. And so it is. God Bless America. Amen.
Hey look I’m all for being yourself (whatever that may be for you) and I don’t care if you change lanes, change sexes or change the color of spray paint if you decide to die yourself green…but when a male who has won track fame, national commercials and parenthood status – all without menstrual cramps, hormonal fluctuations and bleeding from their genitalia for one week straight EVERY SINGLE month since fifth or sixth grade until menopause, I have to say, Mr. Jenner “You have NO IDEA what it’s like to be a woman. NO OFFENSE. And best of luck to you and your new transgender role. Seriously. You’ll save a TON on tampons and sanitary napkins for sure.” And so it is. Amen.
Seriously. I thought that STUPID POPE’S comments about people without kids being “selfish” was the most TYPICALLY ARROGANT crap coming out of the Vatican (what else is new) – and that they give that guy time and energy – is even more ridiculous. But, it ties in to the whole media blitzkrieg and religious campaign of ONCE AGAIN messing with the female mind. (How many ways can we make 100% certain that women will be as LESS THAN as humanly possible!) No kidding that depression is TWICE as common in women than in men. That latest internet article, “….and looks as though she isn’t even pregnant!” OOOOH! NOT PREGNANT! Don’t wanna look PREGNANT…..but yet YOU BETTER SQUEEZE OUT THOSE BABIES or be (GASP!) “SELFISH!!!!”. (And males just deposit their loads in the hole and go on their merry way….fa la la). Jesus! (He didn’t have kids….so I guess according to the Pope (of the ROMAN! Catholic! Church! then Jesus is “selfish”) And so it is. Amen.
Hi! My name is Martyra Breed and I wanted to let everyone know that I followed Princeton graduate Susan Patton’s advice LONG ago and I’m SO glad that I did. Because I spent 75% of my college days looking for that perfect, sperm-dumping, college yuppie, my life has just FLOURISHED. For starters, after getting pregnant at 19, I wasn’t even able to finish college ! That’s right! I had to drop out to take care of that Ivy League offspring that Mr. Yuppie only met twice in his entire life! After all, Mr. Yuppie’s education and social mobility is FAR more important than a MERE breeder’s like myself! That’s what we females are here for – to BREED YUPPIE IVY LEAGUE OFFSPRING!!!!!! Anyway, after having to drop out of college to take care of my Ivy League Offspring, I got a part time job at the B Dalton college bookstore to support myself and my child (Mr. Yuppie just bailed and went off to graduate school with some chick from the LaCrosse team, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Oh well! Stuff Happens! ) But I’m SO glad I BRED when I did, because you know, us females, we have to be young in order to breed. So anyway, I met this professor while working at the book store, and within two years, I was knocked up again with twins. Yup! He was SO happy! And me too! I mean the C-section only gave me a four inch deep gap with permanent scaring for life, and I haven’t slept for more than 2 hours per night since, but if it wasn’t for Susan Patton’s advice, I don’t think I could have ever been THAT HAPPY!!! So when the professor dumped me for one of his students 8 years later, and I still hadn’t finished college and was on welfare trying to support my three kids, I had Susan Patton to think of. Now all three of my kids are in prison, my third husband left me for a college freshman (he’s 52) and I’m still trying to get my Associate’s degree at Mercer County Community College at night while I work at Dunkin’ Donuts in the day. I still think of that stellar advice that Susan Patton gives, and how thankful I am that I spent 75% of my college years focusing on becoming some man’s sperm dumping receptacle while he went on to monetary success and younger, softer pussy once mine was all torn up and stretched out, while I sacrificed my career, education and body like the good, stepping-stone, leaning-post that all great martyrs should. Thank you Susan Patton for keeping this commendable form of martyrdom alive and well. And so it is. Amen.