I “love” when people, with upmost sincerity, look at me with a perplexed look on their faces and say, “So Why Don’t You Have Kids?” This particularly irks me when this, in my opinion, BEYOND ridiculous question, comes from the mouth of a clueless white male who never goes through childbirth or pregnancy a day in his life and who has had a stay-at-home “Betty Crocker” type mother – the kind who has never worked outside of the home. (I won’t NAME anybody out on this today especially if they are NOT a celebrity) (even though they THINK they are). So Carly Fiorina doesn’t think everybody in America should get maternity leave. Did you hear that all you parents out there? PRO LIFE advocates (WHATEVER the fuck that means…seriously…I’m cracking up laughing right now) REALLY have this section in their brain that thinks money grows on trees. Their argument? Let the COMPANIES decide. Well, having been FIRED by MORE THAN ONE COMPANY (PLURAL. PLURAL. PLURAL) because I had to attend funeral services or near-death-experience-of-family members (while WHITE MEN discuss PLAYBOY MANSION outings and show pictures of tits on their phones in the CORPORATE environment – 30, 40, 50 year old men not teenagers) I’m really not TRUSTING companies to look out for ANYBODY’s DAMN INTEREST ESPECIALLY the one who is going through childbirth and pregnancy while her counterpart is discussing Playboy Mansion outings and whacking off to tits on his phone. Not to mention the absolute and blatant discrimination of workers in this country who CHOOSE NOT to breed. I mean, it’s ridiculous. And so it is. God Bless America. Amen.
Posts tagged ‘Stupid White Men’
Attention World! There is a serious epidemic corroding the planet that is more severe, more aggressive, and yes, even more detrimental than the Ebola virus itself. This horrible disease has been plaguing folks for centuries and it seems, especially as of late, that it has become even more HORRIFIC in its latest mutation. The disease I refer to is none other than STUPID ENTITLED WHITE MALE MENTALITY. In its current strain, it insults the collective cerebral system in an extreme form. Advanced medical communities have termed the latest strain of this deadly mutation (this particular one, research has shown, began in Israel, developed in New York City and surrounding boroughs, mutated west, ending up in California) GENE SIMMONS. Warning Signs of this Disease Include (But are not limited to): 1. Extreme Condescending Presentation of Common Sense That Members of Opposite Genders Have Already Implemented (Though Presenter Thinks It Is a New Concept and Presents As Such in an Attempt to Sound Wise) 2. Fuzzy Disturbing Growth on Top of Head That Looks Like Stale Cotton Candy Dyed Black 3. Random Semen Dumping and Inability To Clean Up Consequences of Such Dumping 4. Countless Plastic Surgeries That Defeat the Purpose of Having Plastic Surgery in the First Place 5. Emitting Antiquated Wisdom Consistent With That of a 1950’s Paradigm for Self Promotion 6. Taking Up Expensive Air Time And Wasting Paper and Natural Resources with Its Creations in Audio, Video, and Print Form People…..get SPAYED and NEUTERED immediately so that the risk of this DISEASE is minimized to ZERO. (Ladies….100 pound weight gain,twenty seven hours of excruciating labor, vaginal mutilation through childbirth, postpartum, vomiting every morning, no sleep at night….all that WORK and the END RESULT could be another GENE SIMMONS in the next 67 years…..I implore you all….GET SPAYED and NEUTERED NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so it is. Amen.
Yes, yes, folks….once again…just when you thought somebody who is in the limelight, in the media, and who makes millions of dollars couldn’t get any more stupid, well, they in fact….DO GET MORE STUPID!!! (I thought we reached the stupidity ceiling, but evidently NOT!) LA Clipper’s owner Donald Sterling recently told his girlfriend (and take note- the guy’s like 80 years old and she’s like 30 ish/40 ish….of course. LOL) that she needs to STAY AWAY from THOSE BLACK PEOPLE and NOT bring them to HIS GAMES. (And now we pause for a moment.)
Hmmmmm. No, really, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………………
Now, everybody knows that the NBA (BASKETBALL aka B-Ball, etc.) is mostly comprised of Indians, Filipinos, Eskimos, Jews, Nordics, and Chinese. There’s HARDLY ANY black players. I can’t even think of one black player on the entire NBA, can you? So when Mr. Sterling tells his four decade younger girlfriend that she shouldn’t bring “those blacks” to HIS games, he is EXACTLY ON POINT (not.). God Bless America. And so it is. Amen.
Remember that hit show back in the 90’s – Married With Children? Kelly Bundy played by Christina Applegate was such an airhead. She once had this conversation with her brother Bud on the show:
(Such 90’s humor…..WHAT A CHARACTER!)
Today, in the twenty first century, we have evolved incredibly. The comedy has become so sophisticated, that now, we watch our comedy on the NEWS. (That’s right. I said THE NEWS).
Today, our Bundy isn’t a Kelly though. Today’s Bundy is an intellectually sophisticated, highly observant and completely up-to-date, inclusive, generous, and articulate Cliven Bundy. Here’s something from Cliven’s schtick:
“They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton.
“And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom.”
LOL! He’s just TOO funny, isn’t he? Especially his grammar (ie. “didn’t get no more freedom”) HA! …and ALL black people are referred to as “THEY” in his world, and “THEY” are all “enslaved” because “THEY” didn’t learn to pick cotton according to him.
I’m SO glad he’s NOT a racist! (Can you JUST imagine IF he WAS?) YEEEEE HAAAAA!!!!!!! Makes me SO PROUD to be an American. God Bless It. And so it is. Amen.