Five Reasons Pinocchio is Cooler Than Lance Armstrong
1. He’s much more charming. His big blue eyes are more sympathetic and you want to like him. Lance appears crazy and tweaked out.
2. He didn’t waste Cheryl Crow’s time.
3. Two nights weren’t wasted with Oprah interviewing him about what everyone already knew.
4. He’s more sanitary. He wears white gloves.
5. He’s a much better puppet. His handlers knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t take over a decade to reveal pulling his strings.