So famed, has-been rocker Ted Nugent (“Ped” Nugent – remember he likes bangin’ those underaged teen girls and singing pro-rape songs about it “Cat Scratch Fever” – pedophile that he his) is on a new campaign proclaiming that Obama is the reason veterans are committing suicide. This folks, is the BEST COMEDY I’ve read in quite some time. I thought Michelle Bachmann comparing Obama to suicide/homicide pilot Lubitz was hysterical, but Ped – you take the cake. The good news? While Ped is running his mouth and taking time to say stupid things, masses of 15 year old girls can walk the streets in safety for at least 5 minutes and helpless animals will be able to retreat into the deep woods of Michigan without worrying about being blasted to smithereens by this gun-toting moron (at least until he gets done running his mouth, deluding himself into thinking anyone with two brain cells would take his ridiculousness seriously.) These dinosaur white guys are a trip. God help us. And so it is. Amen.
….has been elected into US Con Gress. Yes America, this is history! Taquisha Meow,is the FIRST EVER Black Female with Four Legs to gain votes and grab this prestigious and powerful seat. Ms. Meow, a Rebuplicat, credits her parents, two Zambian Panthers who fled their native Zambia for fear of becoming extinct, and immigrating to the US with only TWO CENTS in their paws, for her chance at this great American Dream. She then graduated from the Des Moines School of Beauty where she obtained her Beauty and Grooming License, and even entertained a career in the Cat Calendar industry “You think politics is rough? Try modeling! Those cats will scratch your eyes out for a chance to be on the cover!“, she has been quoted as saying. It was a chance meeting at the cat shelter where she crossed paths with the person she also credits for her success- her human – a Hare Krishna volunteer. Soon thereafter, Taquisha found herself a member of her human’s vegetarian movement, where she trained in global relations and peace negotiations with members of various faiths. Now, as a newly elected top tier government official, Taquisha is confident that she will make a difference. “I am female – hear me roar!” she says, as she licks her paw before curling up into a contorted body move that she regularly teaches as a Yoga instructor at the Hare Krishna center every week. When asked if she’s worried about the issues she’ll be forced to deal with in her new role, she yawns and stretches confidently while responding assuredly, “PuhlEEEEze. I have a leg up on all my opponents. In fact, I have two more legs than they do.” God Bless America. And so it is. Amen.