The Church of Tell It Like It Is

Archive for June, 2013

Annie…..Life of a Thug

Check this out. Cameron Diaz is set to play Miss Hannigan in the LATEST remake of the Broadway musical Annie (I remember the film version distinctly – I auditioned for it in New York City at the Plaza Hotel back in the 20th Century – my memoir of the devastation from that traumatic event is…”in the works”as they say in “the biz”.) It was at this audition where I learned first hand that merit and talent goes out the window when someone else has MAJOR connections. POSER “Annies” made it through to the last rounds of the audition while myself and other more qualified “Annies” were passed over like an abandoned orphan at the local orphanage. Whatever. At least I got a free lunch and made friends with some girls from Long Island. Lesson learned. But today’s LATEST AND GREATEST version of Annie has a slight twist. According to the web, it’s looking like the new Annie will be African-American and played by Quenzhane WallisShe’s the little girl that was called  the “C” word -(“C ***” ) by some highly STUPID and MISOGYNISTIC idiots from some “trying to be funny but NOT succeeding” entity that afterward BACK PEDDLED and took the language off the Tweet they posted. (Wonder what happened to them? Let me guess….they got married and had kids. Hmmmmmmm.) All I can say is that I wish the best of luck to the new cast and producer Jay-Z.  (And Mr. Carter – should you find yourself in the presence of those LOSERS who posted that ugly and uncalled for tweet you have my permission to kick their A****. Just Sayin’. The sun WILL come out tomorrow – bet your bottom. God is Good – All the Time. Blessings. Amen.

Quenzhane Wallis, best actress nominee for her role in "Beasts of the SouthernWild", at the Academy Awards (Lucas Jackson/Reuters).

 

Advertisements

Butter ‘Em Up Now, Ya’ Hear!

So Paula Deen lost her Food Network gig due to racial slurring and now she’s on the apology trail. Her sons claim she’s no racist because she bought them Hank Aaron pajamas when they were little. Tomorrow she’s supposed to go on some talk show to smooth things over. Personally, I think she should go on and rap. I think she should do “Nigga Please” by Jay – Z (featuring Young Chris and Pharrell). Screw the Southern Belle image. Just be a hardcore rapper. Here’s some lyrics from that kickin’ jam:

What, uh, c’mon, uh, keep the change, my nigga, (it’s too late)
It’s too late for that
Don’t gotta to spit that game
Keep the change, my nigga, it’s too late for that
Keep the change, my nigga, it’s too late for that

We’ll see. Time will tell. In the meanwhile….Peace and Blessings. God is good. Amen.

The Booty, The Brain, and The Blood of Christ

Gotta love athletes. They are ALWAYS using their brains. Let’s take Serena Williams for example. According to Ms. Williams the 16 year old rape victims of the Steubenville case should NOT have put themselves in that position. THAT POSITION. And what POSITION is that? Drinking alcohol with other males? Now everybody knows that “THOSE MALES” can’t CONTROL that thing between their legs or their camera phones or cell phones when they DRINK ALCOHOL. Ms. Williams also says that the victims’ parents should have taught them to NOT TAKE DRINKS from OTHER PEOPLE. Well these same kind of parents and victims really need to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM A CATHOLIC MASS then, and anyone who ever knew or associated with anybody from Catholicism because those OTHER PEOPLE known as PRIESTS are ALWAYS giving the “blood of Christ” (Christ must have been an alcoholic because that “blood” tastes EXACTLY like wine) to other people’s children on a regular and continual basis (not to mention OTHER “GIFTS” (ahem)). She goes on to say that she’s not blaming the girls (NO!), but OTHER people should have known better. Well, here’s what I have to say.  When you have a wide-ish, dimpled butt, if you wear a horizontal striped bathing suit bottom, it makes your butt look even wider. Ms. Williams should NOT have put her butt in that position. Her parents should have taught her NOT to take bathing suit bottoms made for people with smaller, leaner, less cellulite impacted asses. She’s WELL over 16 so there’s NO excuse. Have a Blessed Day!!!! Amen.

Law Suits and “Friends” LOL

Isn’t it funny how you learn about how people REALLY are when it’s too late? I mean, Adam Corolla had to find out the hard way with recent events. Boy, can I feel his pain. People are a trip! Take Paris Petrick for example. She’s the “famous” (lol!) hairstylist of ONE star (according to some bio on the internet. whatever.) and she was STUPID enough to work for MINIMUM WAGE as a casting associate on some horrible Kevin Smith films (you know, the Smith movies where everyone looks really ugly on the screen). This dizzy skank Paris Petrick was my “friend” (ahem) for many years, until it dawned on me (yeah, I’m SLOW, or TOO FORGIVING) the hard way. This “Daddy Issues” “Parasite” Petrick (her bio daddy jetted after knocking up eight other broads across the country and then the “stable” father figure who “raised” her turned out to be a closet homo who died from AIDS) had the unmitigated GALL to post a public photo of me on Facebook that was taken by her perverted, sexual harassing-self back in 1990 when she got myself and some other girls into stripping at some of the seediest clubs low-class New Jersey and Staten Island New York has ever seen. (Yo!) Yeah, we were shoe-ins. When your “friend” Paris Petrick gets on her knees and blows seventy five percent of the sub-phylum underworld club owners and managers (while she’s “married”. Hysterical, right?), yeah, you can get booked any time you want without having to look like Pamela Anderson or perform sexual favors yourself –  because Paris Petrick has already done it for you! (Remember that part where I said she was STUPID). Now, if I wasn’t up for full time public school teaching jobs at the time she posted the risque photo (and she knew I was looking for a full time teaching gig at that juncture) maybe it wouldn’t have wrecked my entire teaching career and caused me to lose tens of thousands of dollars and receive undue stress. But since Paris Petrick is not only a dumb skank that blows seedy New Jersey go go bar owners and sleeps with them while she’s married, she’s also a VINDICTIVE dumb skank that blows seedy New Jersey go go bar owners and sleeps with them while she’s married, and then, after her FIRST husband catches on her to her manipulation (yeah, he was EVEN SLOWER than me!!) Paris Petrick….get ready to laugh even harder now…”marries” (I told you it was going to be funny) ANOTHER guy. But because her Daddy Issues are SO advanced, Paris Petrick has to make certain that Idiot #2 is a good earner AND RELIGIOUSLY conditioned. THIS way, she won’t HAVE to give head or sleep with seedy New Jersey go go bar owners or managers. But there’s one minor caveat and one she really wasn’t planning on. Idiot #2 wanted a MALE HEIR!!!!!!!!!!! And since his “Fruitful Vine”’s vine has been rotted out since it’s so old and scraped out so many times, she CAN’T CONCEIVE and he might (GASP!!!!!!) LEAVE HER !!!!!!!! (This is where the dumb skank Paris Petrick really freaks out. Her Daddy Issues go into overdrive). So, it’s off to IN VITRO LAND she goes! Gotta get those shots!  Gotta get MORE chemicals pumped into her ALREADY CHEMICALLY INDUCED body (not one, but TWO hideous breast augmentations, fake bleached blonde hair since junior high, other forms of gone-bad plastic surgery, etc.) so that she can PRODUCE WHITE MALE OFFSPRING !!!!!!!!!!! (Hear choir of angels !!!!!) Oh Thank you SO much for putting ANOTHER entitled self-absorbed CHEMICALLY induced white male on our planet. Thank you SO, SO much. It’s not like there are any unwanted children wandering around. (If I have ANY knowledge that her offspring is at the mall, the movie theater or the kindergarten any time twenty years from now, I will be SO OUT OF THERE it’s not even funny. Hopefully they’ll have the gun control thing handled by then.) So yeah, Adam Corolla, I feel you brother. My attorneys and I understand your pain more than you know. Hang in there. And so it is. Amen.

PS: Napa Valley is the new South Central Los Angeles. Can’t you tell? (LOL!!!!!!!!!!!)Blessings and more Blessings. Amen.

Alimony? F*** THAT!!!!!

So the latest in lane changing comes from some newly estrogen-ized EX-Navy Seal named “Kristen” Beck (formerly Chris Beck). This Beck person claims to have wanted to be a girl since the beginning of time. Right. That’s why he MARRIED and REPRODUCED TWICE, screwing up not just his life, but his kids, his ex-wives, and all the other people in his surroundings who will now struggle with trust issues until the end of time. Well of course now that he’s 46 years old, PAST the child bearing years (remember that part about him wanting to be a girl? Try childbirth dude. Oh right. As a man you NEVER had too. How convenient!) and probably owes God knows how much in alimony and/or child support or has quite possibly gotten more women pregnant and is in other kinds of hot water, so of course NOW is the time to switch lanes into the ever-so-GLAMOROUS world of female-hood (again POST puberty, POST childbearing years, POST premenstrual syndrome, POST marriages, POST hefty military retirement package). Uh huh.  Gosh. And to think. People are now PRAISING this person for their “COURAGE” (I’m laughing really really hard right now) to come out because they were in such excruciating pain as a male for so many decades. (Sigh). They better get to work  perfecting that trans-Martian surgery. I’d sign up tomorrow and get out of whole boatload of responsibilities! And so it is. AMEN.

Chris Beck (left) and Kristin Beck (©

 

Tag Cloud